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‘Micro-Cheating,’ Despite the Cute Little Name, Can Secretly Be a BFD—Here’s How To Spot It

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Micro-cheating operates in the grey areas of relationship boundaries…but that doesn’t make it okay.

When my long-distance boo and I said “Let’s do this thing!”, I knew having week-long stretches when I was starved for their touch would be difficult. But there are other (very worth it) trials and tribulations about being in an LDR that I hadn’t anticipated. Like, the fact that there’s only so long I can hold your tiny-screen boyfriend before my hands cramps up, or that my excitement makes it impossible to focus on any audiobook on my drive up to visit, or just how hard it is it would be to figure out which sex toys to pack for the visits. Thankfully, luxury sex toy manufacturer Lelo solved the most pressing of those issues with the launch of the Lelo Dot Travel ($99).

Measuring just six inches, the toy is sized to fit as easily into your hand as it does a toiletry case. However, this compact, travel-friendly vibrator isn’t just for those pleasure-seekers who have to travel to get theirs. It’s for anyone with a clit who is craving more climaxes! “Most vulva-owners need clitoral stimulation—not penetration—to orgasm,” says sexuality psychologist Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., Lelo sexpert and author of Becoming Cliterate. So, “using a clitoral stimulator like the Lelo Dot Travel which is made from high-quality materials and has multiple speeds alone or with a partner can really enhance the ease and intensity of one’s orgasm,” she says.

Got your attention? Read on for my full review of the Lelo Dot Travel.

About the Lelo Dot Travel

The Lelo Dot Travel is a clitoral stimulator that is no bigger than a tube of mascara. One end of the compact toy features buttons and an ergonomic handle, while the other tapers to an ultra-narrow tip designed with precise clitoral stimulation in mind. The non-obtrusive shape and size of the Dot Travel allow you to give your clitoris some love in your solo, partnered, or multi-partnered play, whether you’re face-up, face-down, or on your side.



Lelo Dot Travel — $99.00

Includes one vibrator, USB-charging cord, satin pouch, and warranty registration card.

Dimensions: 5.4″ x 1.02″ x 1.06″

Vibration settings: Eight

Pros: 

  • Provides powerful, pinpoint stimulation
  • Flexible, body-safe silicone head
  • Compact and travel-friendly
  • Waterproof
  • 1-year warranty

Cons: 

  • Pricey (but still more affordable than other Lelo toys)

When you turn the toy on, the tip flutters at a speed similar to that of hummingbird wings mid-flight. Indeed, the Lelo Dot Travel doesn’t vibrate in the way other motorized sex toys do. Instead, it is powered by something called “Infinite Loop Technology”, which allows the tip to oscillate in an elliptical-like pattern on and around your clit, explains certified sex therapist Casey Tanner, LCPC, CST, founder and CEO of the queer sex therapy practice, The Expansive Group, and author of Feel It All.

“If you’ve enjoyed targeted pressure and generally tend to be pretty focused on your clitoris when using your fingers or other toys, it is likely that the pinpointed stimulation this technology provides is for you,” they say. Notably, this is the same technology that made the OG version of this product—the Lelo Dot ($179)—so popular.

At first glance, the toy may seem like a one-trick pony that can only be used to provide powerful pin-pointed stimulation. No doubt, position the tip of the toy to your clit and you’ll see that the toy excels at just that. But the Dot Travel offers other types of sensation, too. When you hold the toy vertically, the pin-prick tip of the toy stimulates your body, but if you tilt the toy horizontally, you can use the entire length of the toy’s shaft, says Tanner. “It’s a fantastic toy if you’re still figuring out what kind of sensations you like because you have a lot of flexibility in how much surface area of the touch stimulates your body,” they say.

Plus, despite its compact size, there are also impressive eight different settings ranging from teasing murmur to satisfying pulse.“These give you additional opportunities to explore what your body likes and needs,” Tanner says.

My review

Thanks to my inner romantic, there are certain parts of long-distance love that I excel at: Mailing the kind of love notes that would put John from Dear John to shame, planning outdoorsy dates throughout my small town when my partner comes to visit, and bringing plenty TLC—here, tender, love, and (happy) crying—to our reunion romps. But when it comes to figuring out which pleasure products to haul with me as I travel across four different state lines… I suck.

Each time I lay my travel pack on my bedroom floor and fill it with various sweat-wicking tees and various hiking socks I think to myself: Which sex toy are we going to want to try after a day-long hike? And more importantly, which sex toy is worth bringing over another pair of wool socks or base layer? Historically, after a sweaty adventure, a sexy adventure probably isn’t in our cards. So, rather than bringing along one of the unopened pleasure products I’ve been sent for work or even tried-and-true wand vibrators, I pack a travel-sized tube of lube and call it a day. This past weekend, however, I threw a charged-up Lelo Dot Travel to my pack at the last minute, and boy-oh-boy am I glad I did.

The first time I reached for the toy we were in the classic lazy-girl sex position (spooning), with me in front. Instead of playing DJ while my partner filled me from behind, I reached into my toiletries case on the bedside table and reached for the Dot Travel. Immediately, I loved the fact that the small size of the toy enabled me to stimulate my clit without either accidentally blocking my entrance, or otherwise interfering with my partner’s rhythm. A few minutes later, as my partner said my name into my ear, I let go.

The orgasm didn’t hit me like a lightning strike the way it can with a wand-style vibrator and clitoral suction toys. Instead, it moved through me like a wave working its way towards the shore: Slowly at first, then all at once. Much like a surfer, I rode it all the way feeling the heat of my partner against my back as if they were the sun. Connective doesn’t even begin to describe it.

We used the orgasm-inducer another time on that trip. That time, we had time for no more than a quickie before I needed to hop in my car and head home. Well, within three minutes of me climbing on top and pressing Dot Travel against my clit we were both cumming. Fast? No doubt. But satisfying? Even more so.

Final thoughts

Bluntly, I’m Alanis Morisette head-over-handle bars for the Lelo Dot Travel. My long-distance love is, too—during a post-game analysis of the sex that visit over text we decided the toy is so good, it’ll likely stay in rotation long after we’re moved in together and its travel-lock feature becomes moot.

Ultimately, as both a personal fan of the Lelo Travel Dot and a professional sex educator, I’d heartily recommend the toy to anyone who knows they enjoy pin-point clitoral stimulation, as well as those who want to try that particular sensation for the first time. Ringing up at just $99, the Lelo Dot is a more affordable option than other pin-point vibrators on the market. It’s more bendy, too—many alternatives are made from hard, ABS-plastic, which limits their versatility. The Dot Travel is made from body-safe, flexible silicone that allows you to alter the angle of the toy to achieve more broad-spectrum stimulation.

In the event that you do get this multi-tasker, Tanner suggests slathering your body and the toy with a water-based lubricant to help reduce excess friction. “You might try using the folds of your labia or the cloth of your underwear as a buffer between your clit and the tip to start,” they say. Then, graduating to direct contact when you’re good and turned on. But as with any toy, “the most important thing is to listen to your body,” they say. So, don’t hesitate to try all the different intensities, angles, and positions.